What’s the Etiquette for A Threesome?
A One-Sentence Short Story
“If you want it to be smooth, you’re going to have to live with this bush for a bit,” Gee sings out from our kitchen about the Brazilian wax she’s scheduled for next week, and I think, that’s a weird thing to say since I never asked for it, although I understand the appeal, having gone to strip clubs and watched porn, but it seems like an awful lot of work, not the sort of thing she’d had time or inclination for before and, if you ask me, a rather infantile desire of grown men to want someone, something to appear virginal, which is kind of the opposite of what we are going for since her getting waxed is in preparation for our first ménage a trois . . . well at least it’s mine, therefore I’m assuming it’s hers, so all of this is odd because the first I heard of this fantasy was a few weeks ago, over cigarettes and coffee laced with Bailey’s Irish Cream at Googie’s in the Village, her mentioning “there’s a wild party in a couple of weeks we should go to,” and then describing what wild means--this was weird to me, as a couple who are together, in part, because we talk about everything, all of the time, like the night we met at a super swanky apartment downtown, just off of Union Square overlooking the New School, smoking cloves, me oversharing about my most recent breakup at the time, her sharing her regrets about graduate school and New York, a conversation spooling from us, between us for hours, well into the next morning, as the memory of the Twin Towers lie in a smoldering ash heap blocks away-—and while I never got into the Talking Heads, “Life During Wartime” is a now constant on my mental soundtrack as the conspiracy theories play out over the news about how different the world has become, what we expect and want, that in this brave new world where we might be a suicide attack away from oblivion. . . so maybe that’s what Gee is reacting to, and as a dude, I know I should be excited by the opportunity, but hearing about this thing, her planning a grooming treatment, again, not the sort of thing she normally does, for an unknown stranger (I think), her wanting to try a new sensation with a familiar face, one that is supportive and loving, but outside of our shared experience and honestly giving me some trepidation with the unknowns about this soiree like—
how does she know about this party;
is this a female-male-male or female-female-male engagement (a need-to-know);
are we having them back to our place, do we go to theirs, is it at a neutral site; or
what are the rules on protection?
--and I’m in the dark as to what this means and it has me wondering if I’m asking the right questions, like should I be getting waxed as well?